Parenting challenges

Someone is entering their tweens.

Tuesday, while waiting for me to come get him, he left his violin outside the school gate with his music satchel and backpack to go chase some pencils he flipped back over the fence. When he returned to his backpack, the violin was gone.  The $350 violin.  Australian dollars, but still.

He has a concert next week, but of course a violin concert requires one to have a violin.  Since he was missing the violin, I told the music director he couldn't participate in the concert.  His dad and I decided that even if the violin came back, he wasn't going to be able to go to the concert.  There has to be a consequence for his irresponsible behaviour.

The violin came back the next day.  Someone put it back in his classroom.  I'm guessing either a teacher saw it on the footpath while he was chasing his pencils and took it to keep it safe, or a frenemy took it to play a joke on him.  Probably the latter since whoever took it left the backpack, but who knows.  Since the violin came back, the school isn't excited about looking through security videos for me, so it's a mystery for the ages.

Now the boy wants to be able to go to the concert.  His dad and I are sticking to our guns - this is a reasonable consequence for leaving an expensive instrument lying around to get taken.   Says the boy defiantly, "Then I won't go to my swim lessons."  No no no, says me.  You don't make the rules.  You are the child, I am the parent.  You accept the consequences of your actions.

Thursday comes - swim day.  Before we head out the door, I ask both kids, "Are you sure you have your swim gear?"

"Yes."
"Yes."

Off we go.  I drop them off.  "Everyone have swim stuff?"

"Yes."
"Yes."

Swim lessons are 4 - 4:30.  I get to the swim centre at 4:20.  There's the boy, standing in the lobby, looking at his Ipad.  Dressed in his uniform.  Dry.  I just look at him.  He looks back.  I win.  He drops his eyes and says, "I forgot my swim suit."

Mama calls BS on that one, and he tries to deny it, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on.  New consequence:  Swim lessons over school holidays.  After a lengthy . . . discussion about this, he decides it's a fair consequence.

I try to talk to him about the cost - $25 for the lesson he skipped, that I cannot get back.  An extra $100 over spring break for more lessons.  And he says . . .

"But you didn't have to pay $350 for the lost violin.  You're making money."

Oy.