This past Saturday, Isaac was at a friend's bar mitzvah at Chabad. Joel went to pick him up at 12:30. At 1:30, they still weren't home. 2:00, still not home. 2:30 . . .what was going on?
I texted Isaac, "Where are you?" He texts back:
We're at an auction
This is fun!
I feel like a businessman.
I got the message, was puzzling out, What auction? for about 30 seconds, then with horror realized it had to be a house auction. I immediately started freaking out and searching the web for auctions today around 1 or 2 pm.
What auction? Where are you?
Are you in Camberwell??? Are you on Althasian Street????
😱😱😱
I should backtrack and explain how real estate is sold in Melbourne. Most houses are sold by auction. There are about 8 open houses before each auction, on the four Saturdays and Thursdays before the auction. Each open house is 30 minutes. In this time, you need to be able to decide if you will spend over 1 million dollars on a house. There is no offer, no counter offer, no contract based on an acceptable inspection. You just rock up to an auction and bid and buy it. 10% down on the day, closing in 30 - 90 days. If you want a structural inspection, you have to arrange it well before the auction, pay for it yourself, and you have no guarantee after that of winning the auction.
I should also mention that house prices in our area of Melbourne are C R A Z Y. When we first moved here we lived in a bare-bones three bedroom with no yard that was estimated to be worth $1.3 million. The houses in the areas we're looking at that are close to our kids' school regularly sell for over $3 million.
So, when I heard Joel was at an auction, after not mentioning any houses he was interested in, and it was taking a very long time . . well I got really nervous. Auctions usually only last about a half hour.
Isaac finally called me back. Joel had happened to see a sign for an auction on his way back from
Chabad. He pulled over. He was the only bidder, surrounded by about 30 neighbors who just came for the entertainment. Watching auctions, by the way, is legitimate source of entertainment in Melbourne. I go to every auction I can in our neighborhood. The realtors all know me.
The owners didn't want to accept his offer. They wanted $100,000 more. Joel said he wasn't comfortable going higher because HE HADN'T TALKED TO HIS WIFE ABOUT IT (Fab timing to think about this, yes?). He left his number with the realtor and left. That's when Isaac called me.
The house is a 2 minute drive to the kids' school. It's a 12 minute drive to my school. It was small - the second bathroom entry was in the kitchen - you would need to walk back through the kitchen to get to your bathroom after showering. The laundry room was only big enough for a washer, not a dryer. Our king sized bed might or might not be able to fit in the bedroom. But hey! There was a four car garage!
Joel came home and we discussed. The reason he had thought about buying it was how easy it would be for the kids to get to school. We've been struggling with that since we moved into our house in the country. It takes 30 - 40 minutes to drive to their school in the morning, and they have to get there early so I can get to my work on time. Joel could take them, but it's in the completely opposite direction from his work. Moving to this new house would allow the kids to get up at 7:30 rather than 6:30, and they could walk themselves to school at 8. I could go to work at 7 if I needed to rather than getting up at 4:30 to do my work and just barely get to work on time.
All very good instincts . . . butbutbut . . . we didn't have a liquid 10% down. And I hadn't seen the house. And until we could sell our current house, the new mortgage would be over $10,000/month.
The agent called Joel back. Could we consider $50,000 more? They talked about closing dates. Joel asked if I could see the house. The agent told us to come back in.
The house was really cute. It had three fireplaces, the kids' rooms would have been larger than what they have now. It was completely renovated, but had nice touches left from the 1910s, like a tile front porch and wrought iron decorations on the roof. But . . . we didn't have the down payment. And we didn't have $10,000 a month for a mortgage unless we cut out luxuries like . . . eating. We didn't want our lives turning into an O Henry story where we spent all our money on a house near the kids' school, but then couldn't afford the school because all our money was going to the mortgage. Regretfully, we decided not to make a counter offer. On the way home we stopped to get pho, which we did not worry about paying for.
There will be other houses, that we can comfortably buy once the US government says we can sell our current house without having to pay a ton of capital gains tax to them. In the meantime, I'll set my alarm for 4:30 AM.
Thanks to my husband for never being boring to live with.
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