I Heart Qantas

Blogging from somewhere over the Pacific Ocean around Tonga.  4.5 hours down, 9.5 hours to go.  Just heading into night; a flight attendant said it’s about 10 PM yesterday in Los Angeles, where the family is heading, then on to visit the frozen north.  Since I have nothing but time on my hands at the moment, I thought I’d share some general tips for traveling overseas with kids who are close in age and tease each other a LOT.

1. Divide and conquer.  We are sitting two-by-two rather than as a family.  This is essential.  Pay extra for your seats if you need to, to insure you don’t have the kids next to each other. 
2. If at all possible, have an extra seat in between you and your designated child.  How to do this?  Traveling at off-peak time helps.  Every single school in Australia takes breaks at the same time.  Air prices double, and flights are packed.  Avoid these times!  Then choose the window-aisle combination on the side of the plane.  If the plane isn’t full, airlines will rarely put some poor innocent bastard in between you two.  This takes a bit of luck, but throwing money at the problem to choose your seat will be the best money ever spent.  We paid $25 per person to choose our seats.  Worth. Every. Penny.
3. Have a lot of activities in the kids’ own bag.  Have lots of snacks that are high protein/high fibre.  Have candies available for meltdowns, but you dole those out.  Avoid chocolate – too messy.  Lollipops, jellybeans, and gummies are good choices.
4. Have a few activities available in case the movies stink.  If you have an Ipad or laptop, make sure it’s fully charged.  Have an extra, fully-charged battery available.  Have headphones for everyone in case the airline headphones are terrible (they usually are).  Buy a new book for the Kindle.  If you’re going to or from Australia, buy two.  You are paying for silence.
5. Non-technical activities are good too.  My kids have invisible ink activity books, sticker books, word searches, and a journal and pen.  Variety is key.  They might love reading, but no one reads for 12 hours straight.
6. A change of clothes in a Ziploc bag.  Even if your child has been potty trained for years – vomit happens, spills happen.
7. A lovey that doubles as a pillow.  Comforting and comfy.

Ruth demonstrating the benefits of a lovey, her good headphones, and an extra seat.

Ruth and her Invisible Ink book (oh, and the kids' meal!  Did I mention the kids' meals?  Get one if they're offered.  Yes, full of sugar, but they beat the temper tantrum that comes when they have to eat a quinoa and beetroot salad.)

A couple things Joel and I have always found handy in our carry-ons.

1. Earplugs.  Those of you who know Joel will laugh at this one, but they really cut down on the ambient engine noise
2. A beanie.  Again, laugh at Joel if you wish, but they keep your head warm, your headphones in place, and you can pull it over your eyes to act as a mask.
3. Big thing o’ wipes, and big bag of tissues (or a roll of toilet paper).
4. Toiletries:  Painkillers, cold pills, a good face lotion, lip balm, and a toothbrush and toothpaste.  No makeup – it’s going to look like shit by the end anyway, and it will clog your pores.
5. Refillable water bottle.  Your colon will thank you.

So as mentioned above, we’re about one-third through our flight, and it’s almost time for me to pull my beanie over my eyes and sleep, but before I do I had to take a moment out of watching hour after hour of movies to give a totally unsolicited, uncompensated plug for Qantas.    I’ve flown American, United, Air New Zealand, and Jetstar between the US and Oz, and I am loving Qantas more than the rest of them combined (to be fair, ANZ was lovely as well, and if you fly with an infant, they are just terrific.  And they have the good ice cream).  All my preparations for this flight were almost unnecessary because Qantas is giving us so much.

First let’s talk food and drink.  As soon as we took off, flight attendants came through with huge bottles of water for everyone.  Then they handed out a little menu card with lunch and breakfast options listed, just like if we were in first class.  The healthy option is highlighted.  There is free beer and/or wine with lunch.  And they offer you seconds, because we are Australians and we like to drink.  I had a lovely Sauvignon Blanc from South Australia, which you can pour in a real glass.  Very civilized. 

Snacks are served between the meals - pineapple coconut ice cream bars for a pre-bedtime snack, and hamburger sliders for a midnight snack.  Hungry or thirsty between all these served options?  There’s a self-serve bar in the back of the plane with sodas, water, juices, mueslix bars, biscotti, apples, and cheese and crackers.  They will have to roll me off this plane.

The lovely flight attendant said she wanted to "make it all pretty" before I took the photo.

Cupboard full of goodies.



Isaac is a little excited about the all-you-can-drink soda!

Joel, demonstrating the onboard beanie look.



Biscotti were surprisingly tasty. 

Forgot something else to make you comfortable?  Qantas has free toothbrushes, toothpaste, and sleep masks to make you comfortable.  Other nice features – pillowcases that are real fabric.


The flight attendant also offered me the random chocky lying around, and some Qantas pens.  Yes, Qantas, you can buy my love.

Entertainment – I stopped counting after 100 movies.  

Page 3 of 22 - and this doesn't count the new releases or docos.

Nice flight attendants – they were so very enthusiastic about letting me take photos for the blog post.  They clearly like Americans – the flight attendant who just came by collecting “rubbish” asked me for “trash” in her best southern twang – delightful!  And they are super-nice to the kids.  One actually warmed a bottle of milk for Ruth for her breakfast by sticking it in a cup of hot water, because that's what she's used to at home.  I want to adopt these people.

Now this is an Australian airline, so you’re still going to have the occasional ocker bloke as a fellow passenger who thinks it’s okay to take off his flip-flops and walk around barefoot.  Even better, he puts his bare feet on the armrest of the guy in front of him, but that’s a chance you’ll have to take when you fly down under.  (Yes - across the aisle from Joel.  No picture - you would have been scared.  I only hope he put his shoes on to go to the dunny).

Okay, starting to feel sleepy now.  I’ve watched “Boyhood” and “Moneyball”, and the wine is kicking in.  My travel partner Ruth is asleep, stretched out on two seats (after watching Frozen and Maleficent).  Ruth falling asleep so quickly and effortlessly on a plane rarely happens, so I’m going to take advantage.  Really nice start to our holiday.  Cheers!